MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—The popular search engine Google announced plans Friday to launch a new site, TheGoogle.com, to appeal to older adults not able to navigate the original website’s single text field and two clearly marked buttons.

“The Google will have all the same information currently found on regular Google, but with the added features of not stealing your credit-card numbers or giving your computer all kinds of viruses,” said Rick Tillich, The Google project director. “All you have to do to turn the website on is put the little blinking line thing in the cyberspace window at the top of the screen, type ‘thegoogle.com,’ and press ‘return’—although it will also recognize http.wwwthegoogle.com, google.aol, and ‘THEGOOGLE’ typed into a Word document.”

Tillich added that he hopes the site will soon replace Yahoo Internet Website.com as the most popular search engine for users over 55.

The Onion

Have you ever wondered why you can send or receive as many emails or IMs from your PC as you want but get charged up the wazoo when sending or receiving a TEXT message from your phone? Sit and think about it. Both your cell phone and computer connect to a digital network. When you pay your ISP or cell provider you are paying for access to that network.

In the case of your cell you also pay for your usage of their network via the minutes you use. So it makes sense then that if you have to pay for the usage of the network when sending a TEXT, right? WRONG! A text message takes up hardly any bandwidth on their network. In fact it has to use side bandwidth that the phone constantly uses to communicate with the tower in order to facilitate calls. That is why text messages cannot be as long as an email, they have to fit into the unused bandwidth.

So if it does not cost the carriers anything to send or receive a TEXT why do we pay high monthly fees or $0.20 per message? The answer it that this is a huge profit center for the carriers. If you could sell something that you had unlimited amounts of and that cost you nothing of course you would.

So what is the answer? Well in the immediate term I think Congress and Class Action Law Suits may bring some relief. However, I believe that in the future this will become less and less of an issue. As more and more phones have unlimited access to the internet the idea of paying extra to send a TEXT message will become an anachronism. Instant messaging will not go away, but it will just be a part of the bandwidth used by the many mobile technologies that utilize the internet to facilitate communication.

Evan was very excited about Santa Claus this year, and after telling bed time stories about Santa and his elves for several weeks Evan could not wait for Santa to come.

A week or two before christmas our city had Santa drive around in a fire truck throwing candy to the kids. When we heard the Fire Engine driving by we raced out side, just in time for evan to see Santa driving away in a bright red Fire Truck.

Now, not matter how many times we talk about Santa Driving a Sleigh and his reindeer, if you ask Evan “What does Santa Claus drive?” He enthusiastically responds “FIRE TRUCK!”

Thank you City of Eagle Mountain, for making Christmas come alive for our little 2 year old.

SACRAMENTO, CA—Activists on both sides of the gay marriage debate were shocked this November, when a typographical error in California’s Proposition 8 changed the state constitution to restrict marriage to a union between “one man and one wolfman,” instantly nullifying every marriage except those comprised of an adult male and his lycanthrope partner. “The people of California made their voices heard today, and reaffirmed our age-old belief that the only union sanctioned in God’s eyes is the union between a man and another man possessed by an ungodly lupine curse,” state Sen. Tim McClintock said at a hastily organized rally celebrating passage of the new law. But opponents, including Bakersfield resident Patricia Millard—who is now legally banned from marrying her boyfriend, a human, non-wolfman male—claim it infringes on their civil liberties. “I love James just as much as a wolfman loves his husband,” Millard said. “We deserve the same rights as any horrifying mythical abomination.” On the heels of the historic typo, voters in Utah passed a similar referendum a week later, defining marriage as between one man and 23 wolfmen.

The Onion

Recently Ben Stein created a movie that was supposed to show how Intelligent Design should be taught as a credible alternative to the theory of evolution. Stein has every right to make such a “documentary”, but was appalled when Rodger Ebert did not review his film. After calling Ebert out and accusing him of failing to review the movie because of his liberal bias against creationism Ebert finally relented and has posted a long critique of the movie.

Ebert’s review is worth reading. “The more you know about evolution, or simple logic, the more you are likely to be appalled by the film. No one with an ability for critical thinking could watch more than three minutes without becoming aware of its tactics. It isn’t even subtle.”

Personally my best answer to anyone who believes that Intelligent Design should be taught in the classroom is an amazing Nova episode that thoroughly discusses the debate and shows why arguments like irreducible complexity don’t stand up when scrutinized. If you’ve ever wondered about the debate between evolutionists and creationists you’ll love this fantastic Nova episode.

That is what a California priest says, and he is urging his parishioners to come to confessional in order to receive forgiveness.

“If you are one of the 54 percent of Catholics who voted for a pro-abortion candidate, you were clear on his position and you knew the gravity of the question, I urge you to go to confession before receiving communion. Don’t risk losing your state of grace by receiving sacrilegiously,”

This is wrong on so many levels, but what strikes me the most is how ironic this is given the backdrop of the outrage against the LDS Church for it’s support of Prop 8.

No matter what anyone says, my church has never told me who I should vote for. In every statement the church has pointed out that there are good principles in both parties.

Latter-day Saints as citizens are to seek out and then uphold leaders who will act with integrity and are wise, good, and honest. Principles compatible with the gospel may be found in various political parties.

Even on Prop 8, where the church took a public stance on the issue, it treated those who disagreed (including some members) with respect.

So when do we see the protest stat on the Catholic Church in Modesto? Probably never. The reason is that the Mormons are much easier to demonize than other groups. And Besides Obama won, you only protest if you lose right?

Video Courtesy of KSL.com